[as dictated to Tanya]
I feel like a horse’s patoot.
Look what I had to wear for Halloween!!
I look stupid. Do you know who would wear this? A dog. A dumb dog who doesn’t know better.
Do I look like a dog?
I do not think so.
I do not know why my mommy humiliated me like this. I am a very good cat. I am naturally handsome and an all around excellent cat. I never give my mommy any problems, EVER.
[T] You were constipated yesterday, and I had to spend $118 to get you de-pooped. I’m not sure I would classify that under excellent.
I have no idea what you talking about. Besides, that was yesterday. Halloween was on Sunday! If I was constipated – and I am not saying I was – it was probably due to the humiliation of being a giant pumpkin.
[T] You were a very handsome pumpkin.
Of course I was handsome. No costume could not mask my cuteness. But I think it made me look fat.
Do you think I look fat?