I took Emeril home that cold, blustery afternoon. Once there, he quickly scouted the lay of the land, jumping on my pristine kitchen counter with not one crumb of food on it. I pointed out to him several times where the litter box was. Ignoring me, he hid under my futon.
Later that I evening, I finally dragged his sorry butt out from underneath the futon, figuring it was time to set the ground rules with him
1. No sassing mom (broke that evening)
2. Always, always use the litter box (broken many times in retaliation for perceived slights)
3. Mandatory snuggle time every day (kept!)
4. Don’t wake mom up in the morning (broken every darn day)
5. No parties while mom’s at work (no obvious evidence, but I am suspicious)
Emeril decided it was time to teach me his rules and went to over to his empty food dish.
I fed him.
He ate and continued to stand next to his dish.
I fed him some more.
He ate again and continued standing next to his dish.
I fed him again.
Pleased with how quickly our training was progressing, he decided it was time for some quality snuggling time. Since I was now lying down on the futon, Emeril thought I made a great pillow. We both purred contentedly.
Nature eventually called, so I carefully set Emeril down and went to visit the little girl’s room. When I came out of the bathroom, Emeril was patiently waiting for me.
Emeril apparently did not like shut doors, nor being set aside in the midst of snuggling time. I reminded him of the no sass rule. He stared at me for a beat then sat next to his empty dish.
I fed him again.
When it was time to go to sleep, I placed Emeril on my bed and crawled in next him. He immediately jumped down and scampered back into the living room. I retrieved him and set him back on the bed. He promptly jumped off the bed. I gave up and went to sleep.
Later I woke up with no sensation in my legs; Emeril was laying on top of them. Any pet owner knows that their pet’s weight increases ten-fold at night. I carefully moved Emeril off my legs and put him down right next to me. Deeply insulted, he jumped off the bed and stalked out of the room.
It would be three weeks before he would sleep with me at night.
TO BE CONTINUED…