[as dictated to Tanya]
I am a good cat. A very, very good cat. Friendly. Loving. Obedient. Handsome. Even though I am all of those things, my mommy did something really, really mean to me.
She made ride in a plane.
For three hours.
In a small pet carrier.
I do not know why I deserved such poor treatment when I am clearly a good kitty.
[T] I’m not sure what you are complaining about. If I didn’t take you home with me, you would have spent 9 days kenneled at the vet’s while I was away. I think you are LUCKY that I was willing to PAY for your plane ticket.
[T] And you got to see my mom who spoils you more than I do. Feeds you every time you beg and brushes you while she watches TV. You got to run around the house, snooping all over the place and getting into all kinds of mischief. You took over my dad’s recliner, forcing him to vacate his favorite chair instead of booting you off it. So why are you complaining again?
[T] You ate treats every day because you refused to eat your regular cat food.
[T] You had extra people to harass every morning in hopes someone would get out of bed and feed you. Everyone said you were so handsome and wanted to pet you.
Okay. There were maybe a few good things that happened. But you made me wear that stupid Santa Claus hat. So clearly I have been wronged and you owe me an apology.
[T] Sorry? You expect me to apologize?
Thank you. Apology accepted.