[as dictated to Tanya]
You heard me. It’s tough being me. It’s tough being the most handsome cat in the whole wide world. It’s tough being the smartest kitty in the whole wide world too.
It’s tough being adored by everyone. It’s tough being petted everywhere I go. It’s tough being told how silky soft my fur is.
It’s tough napping 20 hours a day. It’s real tough staying awake those other 4 hours.
It’s tough napping in one of my special beds. It’s tough taking a nap uninterrupted by mommy. She is very rude sometimes.
It’s tough getting mommy out of bed in the morning to feed me, which sometimes causes me to be naughty. So, as you can plainly see—it’s not my fault but hers.
It’s tough when my food dish is empty. It’s tough sitting next to an empty dish, staring hopefully at my mommy until she takes pity on her poor sweet kitty.
It’s tough when your mommy shares your personal private business with everyone, even when it’s none of their darn business. Sometimes it’s tough for me to go potty, but not as frequently as mommy claims.
It’s exhausting being such a special kitty. I deserve a good long nap. It’s tough being me.