[as dictated to Tanya]
Yes. It is true. I am too sexy. I hear it all the time.
Emeril, you are so handsome. Emeril, you are so cute. Emeril, you have the softest fur.
I cannot hide the obvious: I am sexy.
And why would I hide it? It is no fun to pretend that I am anything less than the most handsome cat in the whole wide world. Mommy says my ego is humungous, which must be a compliment.
Sometimes I downplay my handsomeness. For example, when I am staying at the vet. I do not want the other kitties to be jealous. I am sure they notice how handsome I am (how could they miss it?) but I try not to hog all the attention.
[T] Uh. Emeril?
[T] You’re very handsome, but it’s possible I’m the only one who thinks you’re the most handsome cat in the world. I suspect other cat owners think their cat is the most handsome (or prettiest) cat in the world.
Please. I have seen other kitties, and I am the MOST HANDSOME CAT EVER. Plus, what do you mean cat owner? You do not own me. I own you. You are my pet. Silly mommy.