[as dictated to Tanya]
Did you? Did you miss me? I’m sure you did. I’d miss me too. But mommy says it has to be this way for awhile. I’m trying to work through my anger at her for reducing my posts to bi-weekly.
I’m sure she regrets her terrible decision because I was so naughty after she told me. I harassed her constantly and woke her up early every morning.
In fact, I broke out the big guns and suffered personal private bathroom issues on HER BIRTHDAY!! She was so mad. I do not understand why. I was the one who had the enema! She’s mad at me because she had to use her birthday money to pay for my enema, instead of the spa day she wanted. HA! Why should she get to relax when I have a tube stuck in my you know what?
Mommy insists that I mention her new short story, Cursed. I have not read it (mostly because I cannot read) but mommy reads out loud from it all the time. She tells me there is a kitty in the story. Of course, this kitty is not nearly as awesome as I am. I do not understand why she did not write a story about me instead of Jolie and Franck.
Everyone would love to read a story about me. Right? I thought so.