Behavior Unbecoming of a Feline

[as dictated to Tanya]

My mommy accused me of behavior unbecoming of a feline and put me in a timeout. This makes no sense to me. I am a feline. How can my behavior be unbecoming? It is impossible! We felines are well-known for our superior behavior, beauty and brains. I do not understand how anything I do can be considered unbecoming. Mommy made a mistake.

I am handsome. Becoming behavior.
I am smart. Becoming behavior.
I am loving. Becoming behavior.
I purr so sweetly. Becoming behavior.
I say please and thank you. Becoming behavior.
I am the best snuggler. Becoming behavior.

Now you understand my confusion. Mommy owes me an apology.

[T] Perhaps you need me to refresh your memory. Let me remind you …
You pee on the bathroom floor. Unbecoming behavior.
You fuss over your food. Unbecoming behavior.
You’re constipated. Unbecoming behavior.
You’re sassy. Unbecoming behavior.
You wake me up in the morning. Unbecoming behavior.
You sleep on my laptop when I’m trying to work. Unbecoming behavior.

I have no idea what you are talking about.

[T] You mean you don’t recall any of those unbecoming behaviors.

Of course, I remember doing all of them. Every self-respecting feline behaves this way. So stop complaining and be grateful that you have such a sweet kitty like me.

I am still waiting for your apology