Lately I’ve felt more like the person in Edvard Munch’s famous painting, The Scream. I’ve spent the last month hyperventilating over Emeril since he’s been diagnosed with Chronic Renal Failure (CRF). I’ve analyzed and overanalyzed every single thing he does and doesn’t do. I’m just lucky he hasn’t packed a bag and hit the road in search of a new mommy.
Every time I’ve gone into a full blown panic attack (sadly, too many times to count), I’ve forced myself to think about all the things I’m grateful for and managed to calm myself back into a somewhat rational person. Thankfully, I have so much to be grateful for.
I get to wear flip-flops every day, except when it rains. My little toesies get too cold. (Don’t tell too many people; I rarely wear closed-toe shoes and make fun of who do because 60 degrees is soooooooooo cold. Not.) Besides, wet flip-flops are very, very slippery, which is very, very dangerous for a known klutz like me.
I can see the ocean every day. I moved here for this; it always helps me breathe again.
I have great friends who willingly tag along with me as I journey through this thing called life. And also listen to me talk endlessly about Emeril and his bouts of constipation.
I can shop at the Farmer’s Market every week then go home and make yummy things like this yummy strawberries in balsamic vinegar.
I can spend my days doing the things I love: reading, designing and writing.
I have a family that loves me and supports me, even when I’m being a little bit kooky and all together ooky.
And finally, I have this little guy. He makes me laugh every day. No sound makes me happier than hearing his loud purr. I feel an unnatural satisfaction when he pees and poops. I also feel a lot of pride and gratitude when he remembers to pee and poop in the litter box. My friend, Pam, refers to him as His Lordship and he’s definitely royalty to me.
I am truly blessed.
Wow I didn’t know about Emeril’s Kidney failure, I can understand the stress. Give Emeril a big hug from your crazy brother and the family.
Will do. He seems to be stabilized now. He doesn’t like his meds, but too bad so sad.