It’s me, Emeril. You didn’t forget about me—did you? I didn’t forget about you. Mommy refused to let me post, and I know you’ve missed me because I am so amazing.
Today was a particularly exciting day for me. I got up at 11:00 a.m. and immediately demanded to be petted as usual. After a few pets, I threw up.
Yup. Right in front of mommy.
She wasn’t very happy with me. She falsely accused me of being constipated, which I most certainly am not.
And I totally proved it to her when I pooped.
Sure, it took a few tries and I needed my special pooping medicine, but all that really matters is that I pooped. All by myself. Without an enema.
Obviously, I am the best kitty ever.
Right, world?
Thank you for agreeing with me.