I once wrote about how super awesome I am. And it is true. I am super awesome Emeril. But mommy is also super awesome, although not quite as super awesome as me. On a scale of 1-10, I am a 25. Mommy is a 10.
Mommy is super awesome because she makes special sleeping places for me. On her desk. On her bench. By the kitchen table. Next to the desk. Under my cat tower. In the linen closet. She does refuse to make a special sleeping place for me in the bath tub, which is rude.
But I forgive her because I am super awesome.
I also find it strange that she stands in the bath tub like a dumb-dumb and sings about me.
Mommy is super awesome because she does everything for me. I mean everything. She purees my food and feeds it to me, even when I do not want it. But that is okay. I demonstrate my disapproval by throwing up on her shoes. She is super awesome because she yells that she loves me and mumbles under her breath about how super awesome I am when she cleans up after me.
Mommy is super awesome because she takes me for walks. I love walking. It is good exercise, even though I already boast a sleek physique. I do it for mommy, so she gets her exercise. I meow and meow and meow and meow until mommy finally lets me go outside. Sometimes I just lounge in the hallway, looking handsome and being super awesome. Sometimes I march down the hallway until I get tired and need a nap.
Sometimes I get so tired that mommy has to carry me back home. Of course, as soon as we are back inside the apartment, I meow and meow and meow to go back outside. She is not super awesome when she says no.
Mommy is super awesome because she takes such good care of me. She pets me. She brushes me. She tells me that I am handsome and super awesome. She gives me medicine and fluids; I do not like them, but mommy says it is a super awesome thing for her to do for me.
I am undecided whether it truly is super awesome.
It is not super or awesome to be jabbed with a needle. Or to take yucky medicine. But I do like feeling super awesome, so I guess it is okay.
I am super awesome Emeril. Mommy is super awesome. And I am feeling extra-generous today, so you are super awesome too.