Hi ya, everyone! Today I’m sharing with you what a typical day looks like for me. I stay very busy, am 100% adorable and NEVER EVER naughty. Any so-called naughtiness is clearly an act of
retribution … I mean response to Mama’s actions. It’s all cause and effect. Paw swear.
3:00 AM: Routine patrol around the apartment. Nap for 5 minutes in bathtub. Go to kitchen. Check out food dishes. Empty. Jump on desk. Nudge picture of the prima donna cat, Emeril, off the desk. Peer out the patio door. No birdies. Darn. Go back to bed.
5:00 AM: Routine patrol. Check food dishes. Still empty. Rude.
6:00 AM: Routine patrol. Check food dishes. Still empty. Very rude. Go back to bed and meow at Mama. Drape myself over her legs and kick her occasionally to let her know that I feel peckish about the food situation.
7:00 AM: Routine patrol. Check food dishes. Still empty. Very, very rude. March back into the bedroom and yowl loudly. Jump into bed, stomp on her bladder and wait for her squeal of discomfort. Flop down next to her and let her rub my belly.
7:30 AM: Mama gets up. Run to the kitchen and wait for her. Meow loudly as she prepares my meal. Gobble up food and clean paws afterwards.
7:33 AM: Sit next to Mama and snuggle with her.
7:35 AM: Tear around the apartment and try to get Mama to play with me. If she won’t, then nudge something off a table or desk.
8:00 AM: Nap in my big comfy red bed.
10:00: Mama wakes me up to tell me that she loves me. Duh.
10:02 AM: Go back to sleep and dream about a pet birdie named Yum Yum.
Noon: Go to kitchen and lick empty dish. Look pathetic. Meow happily when Mama gives me a handful of kibble.
12:06 PM: Eat and take a bath afterwards.
12:10 PM: Snuggle with Mama.
12:15 PM: Race around the apartment. Pounce on Mama when she walks by. Let her chase me around the apartment. Bat toys around the living room. Paw at ribbon.
12:30 PM: Nap in comfy red bed. Dream I am named Best Kitty Ever. Oh wait. I am the best kitty ever!
3:00 PM: Mama wakes me up just as Emeril is crowning me Kitty of the World in my dream. Rude. Very rude. She tells me that she loves me and smooches my paws. She is weird.
3:02 PM: Nap some more.
5:00 PM: Go to kitchen and lick empty dishes. Look sad. Meow loudly when Mama ignores me. Meow even louder when she tells me it’s not dinner time yet. Jump on kitchen table and nudge something off the table. Look innocent when she yells.
5:05 PM: Run around the apartment, trying hard to annoy Mama so she will either play with me or feed me. Neither work.
6:00 PM: Dinner is served. Gobble it up. Clean paws and face.
6:06 PM: Take an after dinner nap.
7:00 PM: Snuggle with Mama.
7:30 PM: Nap in cat tower or on Mama’s bed.
11:30 PM: Scamper around being adorable. Play with Mama and my laser mouse. Show Mama how good I am at capturing that sneaky light. Pounce on Mama when she walks by and race around the apartment.
Midnight: Go to kitchen. Lick empty dish. Give Mama sad kitty eyes. Mama serves bedtime meal along with a handful of kitty treats! Woot! Woot!
12:02 AM: Jump into bed with Mama and snuggle.
12:11: Afterwards go back to kitchen and finish meal. Do a quick patrol of the apartment and go back to sleep next to Mama.
3:00 AM: Start of a new day!
Whew. I am exhausted. It’s a big job entertaining Mama and keeping the apartment safe from bugs and spiders. I need some extra shut-eye to keep up such a vigorous schedule. A well-rested kitty is a happy kitty, and I am a very happy kitty.