As I have shared previously, emotional eating is one of the areas that I need to address as I work towards a new healthy and fit me. Well, I had the opportunity—or more accurately—a test last week, and this time I won the battle.
I needed to run a few errands so I hopped into my car and start backing out of my parking spot, when I heard the dreaded screech of scrapped metal. Now my apartment’s parking is underground, so there are these huge cement posts and they are my Achilles heel.
This is my third run-in. 🙂
On the flip side, I have noted that virtually every post has scratches on it, so obviously I am not the only one with this particular issue. My parking spot is tight and only recently have they put a vehicle next to me. Previously, they never lasted more than a few days as the vehicles were all larger and I suspect the owners requested a different spot after a few harrowing parking attempts. The new car is a compact convertible so we do fit okay, but now it’s a lot harder for me to get in and out of my spot.
The scratch isn’t AWFUL, but it’s obviously not great either. So on my way to the store, my thoughts were filled with DUMB, STUPID, I CAN’ BELIEVE I DID THAT, PAY ATTENTION and on and on and on. They were ugly and mean thoughts, especially considering that the crime was small. When you consider all the mistakes made that day in the world, mine didn’t even rank in the top million, ya know. But to me, it was HUGE.
Wallowing in my negative thoughts, I spotted the lovely and enticing golden arches of a McDonalds. I felt an almost irrational desire to go through the drive-through and pick-up some fries. Or a chicken sandwich. Or maybe a chicken sandwich and some fries. Or even better: a chicken sandwich, fries and a cherry pie.
I was thoroughly tempted, ready to pull in and place my order. Inhale the food in my newly scratched car and throw away the evidence of my mid-afternoon snack before finishing my errands, giving myself plausible deniability the next time I got in my car.
But I didn’t.
I took a deep breath and knew the truth. I wasn’t hungry for food. I craved comfort, not food. I wanted a time machine so I could prevent myself from veering a little too close to the post and watch that scratch that seemed SO BIG, just disappear. I wanted to squeeze out the guilt and blame and ugly thoughts filling my mind by consuming lots and lots of food.
But I drove by McDonalds and ran my errands instead.
I reminded myself that in my lifetime a scratch on my car won’t even be remembered. And to be grateful for just a small scratch. I didn’t have to exchange information with another owner or worse—call 911 because I hit a pedestrian. It’s just a scratch or scrape. Pretty—of course not. But not worth stuffing my face full of food that I did not need. Two wrongs never make a right. I didn’t want to fall into old habits and overeat, then later beat myself up for both the scratch and emotional eating like the old Tanya would have.
Not this time. Nope, this time I won.
I’m making better choices and taking it one victory at a time.
As someone who loves food – and is totally guilty of bored/emotional eating – I know how big of a win this was! I hate to hear about the car, but it’s AWESOME that you were able to be rational afterward and recognized that you weren’t hungry, just upset. You’re totally right, a little scratch isn’t the end of the world and it’s not worth giving in to some comfort eating and getting off your healthy path. Way to go, and keep that good momentum going! 😀
Thanks, Kali! I appreciate your support! It was a big win for me because, trust me, I was completely ready to swing into McDonalds and temporarily eat my problems away. While I still cringe when I see the scratch, it is also a great reminder that I can differentiate between true hunger and emotional hunger! And that may actually be worth a scratch. 🙂
Tanya, so sorry to hear what happened, but you handled it well and made good choices.
I too would have reached for something delicious, but not so good for us, to make me feel better too.
But like you said, later I would have been more upset because I really didn’t even need that food to comfort me.
PS. I hate underground parking lots too.
Thanks, Sicorra! My normal response would have been to grab some “bad” and attempt to eat away my frustration but I’m really glad I didn’t. It felt really good, even though I was still mad about the scratch! I was so happy my apartment had parking since lots of places don’t and I don’t like street parking either. But those stupid cement posts! ACK!
Yay for you, Tanya! HUGE victory here! I would’ve had those same exact temptations too. Awesome job on reminding yourself of the truth to overcome those icky lies that you were hearing. Great job!
Thanks, Laurie! Appreciate your support! It wasn’t easy because those golden arches were definitely calling my name! I consider myself to be a pretty positive person but sometimes I am shocked by how negative I can be towards myself when I make a mistake. While I certainly don’t want to brush off mistakes or pretend they don’t matter, the way I talk to myself about them can be downright terrible, which certainly doesn’t do any favors to this emotional eater! I make have scratched my car but this is still going in the win column for me!
I know what you mean about how we can get so incredibly down and critical of ourselves. It’s amazing how much grace we are often able to give to others, but how little grace we often give to ourselves. That’s why your victory here is such a big deal, IMHO. You just won a huge race in the battle of the mind here. Yay!
Yes! I am much quicker to forgive others than I am myself … and often for far worse things that I berate myself for doing. Grace is exactly what I needed in that moment and well, every moment. They always say you cannot control what happens to you but you can control your reaction. It’s not always an easy rule to follow in the heat of the moment but it’s true. I can make a bad or regrettable situation worse with my reaction. Just breath and find your grace. Have a great weekend, Laurie!
Awesome – so very proud of you for resisting, Tanya!! I do the same thing, from the ugly and mean thoughts to the come-down of “come on, it’s not that big of a deal in comparison of what else can happen.” I still go through moments of comfort eating, but do my best to catch it and avoid it when I can… over time, the success rate becomes greater, and I’m really proud of you for this moment! 🙂
Thanks, Anna! It’s amazing how brains work some days. I will get all worked up over stuff and then ultimately realize it’s not that big of deal. Complete mountain over a molehill mindset. I’m savoring this victory and trying to keep it fresh because I know emotional eating doesn’t really go away – you just get better at stopping yourself from doing it. So I want to remember how good it felt so I keep making the right choices (and forgive myself when I don’t!) 🙂
That is some will power! Congratulations…now it will be get easier to just say no and before you know it you’re a healthier you! That’s awesome!
When I see McDonald’s I want a coke. And I can’t have a coke by itself. I have to have fries :).
I’ve been bad this week, I blame the weather but of course we both know it’s not mother nature’s faulty. Well, in a way it is :).
Very motivating Tanya! Keep it up!
Thanks, Corina! I certainly hope it will help make it easier the next time I am tempted to eat emotionally to stay strong. 🙂 I love McDonalds fries … they are dangerous! Some weeks are just hard. I know when my week is jam-packed that I eat out more than I should or not the best foods. Some days, it’s all you can do!