I‘m back! Thanks everyone for sticking around and letting Mighty Max entertain you. My big project—a complete overhaul of The Heavy Purse website is live and looks terrific in my opinion. It’s possible that I am also biased. 🙂 Take a peek and let me know what you think!
One thing I love is learning new things, which I definitely did with the website overhaul. I learned about media queries and responsive web design which both fascinated and greatly annoyed me. Next up, I’ll be slowly be giving Eat Laugh Purr a makeover too. Its needed a refresh for some time, but it will need to happen in between other projects, so no ETA. If you need a new website or a refresh to your current one, please let me know. I’d love to help build a website you and your readers love.
Okay, enough about work, let’s talk about me, me, me. LOL! No seriously, I’ve been writing notes on all the things I wanted to share with you. I’ve missed everyone and will definitely get caught up with what is new and exciting in your lives this week.
As you may recall, my focus word this year is courage. While I don’t consider myself cowardly, I also talk myself out of doing things because I am scared to hear “no”.
“No. I don’t need a new freelance writer” is interpreted to mean your writing sucks.
This fear of “no” sometimes paralyzes me. I overanalyze what it means and take it personally. When sometimes “no” just simply means “no” and there is nothing sinister behind it. But I obsess that there is something wrong … with me.
So I talk myself out of seeking new opportunities. In fact, the more important or desirable the opportunity, the greater my fear of hearing “no” so I convince myself to play it safe and do nothing. This safety is an illusion or lie but since I chose not to pursue the opportunity, then I hold the power, not them. At least that is what I tell myself as I lay awake staring at the ceiling at night now regretting not trying.
Am I the only who does this?
I feel confident that I’m not. I’m pretty sure the whole self-help industry thrives because of people like me! And you’re welcome.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about “courage” and “no” and how I want to live my life. Who I want to be. And honestly, the “who” I’m still trying to figure out. We are so eager to know “who” we are, so we can triumphantly announce it when someone asks us “what do you do”.
I suspect what we “do” isn’t necessarily who we are. But that is another post for the future. 🙂
What I do know is that I may never love the word “no” in relation to opportunities I want, but by not pursuing opportunities, I am the one telling myself “no”.
I am the one rejecting myself.
Which is far, far, far worse.
I can’t control what others think and do. I can only control my own actions and my own responses to things that happen to me. And what I do know with absolute certainty is that I don’t want to reject myself or my abilities.
I want to share and believe in them.
So I am putting on my big girl pants and learning to embrace every “yes” and “no” and to see them as equal positives. To remember that which ever response I receive—is proof of my courage and my faith in me.
And that is real power and who I am really am.