Happy Max Monday, everyone! I was contemplating what I should meow about today when it dawned on me that there are things about me you don’t know. Now felines are notoriously mysterious; it’s really part of our appeal. But because I like you, I will share some of my secrets with you.
My official name is Maximillian Emeril but you can call me Max or MaxE. I occasionally respond to other names, like Mighty Max or even kitty kitty. But I NEVER respond to “no”. This confuses Mama when I don’t, so let me share a feline secret with you: We don’t understand, hear or accept the word “no”. We only hear “yes”.
When Mama adopted me in September 2012, I was barely 12 lbs. That may seem like a lot, but I was super skinny. Today, I weigh 17 lbs and I AM NOT FAT! Or chubby. Or big-boned. I am a BIG cat. I stand 17 inches tall and am 21 inches long (these are Mama’s best guess since I wouldn’t stand still for her to accurately measure me). Mama says if I were a human I would be long-waisted. I don’t know what that means but I assume it’s good, like me.
Max Fact #1
My favorite cat is me. Duh. I am the coolest cat. My comment handle even states it. Besides myself, I am a big fan of Garfield. He is a ginger, like me, and keeps his human pet and dog on their toes. I don’t eat lasagna, which he really shouldn’t either. Garlic and onions are BAD for kitties, and they should not eat them (seriously, it can lead to anemia). He may have poor taste when it comes to food, but I like his cat-at-itude. Unlike Sylvester and Tom, who get bested by birdies and mice, Garfield is the boss. My next favorite kitty is Puss in Boots, although I have soured a bit on him after this horrible experience.
Max Fact #2
I don’t like the movies Cinderella or Lady and The Tramp. They unfairly represent kitties as being mean. We are naturally superior to every animal and this is clearly payback from jealous doggies. I understand. Cats rule and everyone else drools. I’d be jealous of me too.
This is my favorite cat video!
We ginger cats are clearly clever felines! Meow!
Max Fact #3
Orange is my favorite color. Soft Kitty is my favorite song. Mama is my favorite person and I love belly rubs.
Max Fact #4
I love water. I mean I really, really love water. It is fascinating, especially when it drips. Sometimes, when Mama is showering, I try to catch a drop of water with my paw! I don’t mind getting wet—if it is on my terms, but I will put up a HUGE fuss if Mama ever tries to give me a bath. I also like to drink from the toilet because it really annoys Mama. 🙂
Max Fact #5
Mama always blames me when she can’t find something. Or when Emeril’s picture is on the floor and the frame is cracked. Or when the toilet paper is shredded. Or when the cat food bag was mysteriously chewed open overnight. Or when somebody puked a hairball on her pants. And you know what? I totally did it!!!!
Well, there you go. Now you understand why Mama gave me my own day. I totally earned it!
See ya next week! Meow!