Hi ya, everyone! So let me get you caught up on my busy, busy, BUSY life. I took a lot of good naps that were rudely interrupted by Mama. She always wants to know what I am doing; where I am. I am obviously the center of her life, as all kitties should be.
I got yelled at for licking plastic, which I do All. The. Time. It bothers Mama when I do it, which makes it So. Much. Fun. She yells, but I keep on licking! Eventually, she either feeds me or plays with me. Mama is an enabler.
Mama is also pokey. You may recall that I had the brilliant idea to start a cat school and share my vast wisdom with other felis domesticus (aka cats!) who need my tutelage. So many poor kitties allow their pets to dictate their lives and are at their mercy. This is not how it should be. Kitties rule! We are in charge and our human pets need a firm paw to properly guide them. Mama would be lost with MaxE to help her.
For example, sometimes I find Mama staring at the contents of her fridge. She seems confused so I race over to remind her that she was getting my cat food. Sadly, too many kitties miss this opportunity and sit around with rumbling bellies.
Anyway, Mama promised that she would think about me starting my own school and let me know her decision in one week. I’m not entirely sure how long a week is … I think it’s pretty long … but she still hasn’t given me her answer. I meowed my concerns to her, but she is wily and distracted me with an intense game of laser mouse.
Then I meowed about it later and she tricked me again! This is time with some extra treats! Now MaxE is a strong-willed cat, but even I couldn’t pass up extra treats!
Fortunately, two can play this game. I tricked Mama into snuggling with me to get her defenses down. She totally fell for it too! She said, “Who does Mama love? MaxE! Who is so smart? MaxE! Who is the best kitty ever? MaxE!”
Told ya, wrapped around my paw!
Full Disclosure by Tanya: Sad, but true. Mama is a sucker when it comes to MaxE.
I placed my paws over her hand, which she really likes, and purred loudly. Then I meowed about launching my cat school this summer …. and … and … and …
Mama said she’s still thinking about it!
Meow! I don’t know why it takes so long to say “yes” to me. Mama will never tell her MaxE “no”, so I don’t why she even pretends to think it over. I should just go ahead and do it, but I need Mama’s help. She needs to type my coursework for me because they don’t make kitty laptops with big keys for my big paws and I can’t spell. I meow and Mama types for me. I also need Mama to make up some special materials too, like she did with my pet sitting flyer. She claims to be busy and says I need to pay her too.
Sacre bleu (I may not be able to spell but I know French!) I have no money—that’s why I am starting my cat school. So I can be a wealthy cat-a-prenuer and buy my own deluxe cat tower and pet birdie named Yum Yum. I told Mama that I would pay her back in snuggles, which I feel is very fair payment.
Anyway, I am still waiting for Mama’s approval. She has one more week (I’d better figure out how long that really is) or I have no choice but to get into mischief. Well, more mischief than normal. Mama doesn’t call me Chief Mischief Maker for nothing!
I’d appreciate if you’d voice your support of my cat school! Meow!