Hi ya, everyone! I have been with Mama for almost two years and it’s been mostly good. She indulges almost every whim and gives me loads of attention, but last Wednesday I found out what a BIG mouth Mama has. And even worse, I finally felt a little sympathy for the prima donna cat, Emeril.
MaxE may have experienced a little personal private bathroom issue last Wednesday. Unlike Emeril, aka the most constipated cat in LA County, I had the opposite problem, which is so humiliating. Of course, Mama morphs into a drama queen. You’d think she was the gassy one!
Anyway, maybe I had a couple of bathroom accidents, but there was no need to tell EVERYONE about it. She was tweeting about it (so rude since she won’t let me eat twitter), emailing friends and yapping about it on the phone. Basically, everybody knew that Mighty Max had some personal PRIVATE bathroom issues.
The key word is PRIVATE!
Mama was even threatening to take me to the vet. No way! I did not need to go there and get poked and prodded. Thankfully, Mama decided against it. But then she started babbling about me needing a bath because I had a stinky bottom.
She even chased me around the apartment trying to wipe my cute, fluffy butt. I am a full-grown cat! I can clean my own bottom!
The worst part is that I am blameless. I did nothing to bring on my bout of diarrhea. But do you know who is NOT blameless?
Mama! This is ALL her fault.
The store within walking distance did not carry my preferred wet food flavors, so she made me eat my non-preferred varieties, which my digestive system couldn’t handle.
It’s not fair that I am the victim, and yet also the one who gets threatened with the vet, a bath, my bottom wiped and a food fast until my tummy settled down.
Now I understand why Emeril got grumpy when Mama blabbed about his personal private bathroom issues. It’s just plain rude.
Fortunately my tummy is back to normal, and I hope that Mama has learned a valuable lesson. Be kind to Sir Snoops A Lot’s belly or he will try to poop on your shoes!