Hi ya, everyone! I hope you had a good holiday weekend. I’m not entirely sure what was so super special about it. Mama said it was something about us having the freedom to choose how we live and think. Well, I’m a feline. We are ALWAYS free to do what we please. NO MATTER WHAT. This is obviously why cats rule!
Anyway, as I took multiple naps to celebrate my freedom to nap whenever I want, I got the brilliant idea to write my resume. As a successful cat-a-prenuer, it only makes sense that I have one. You never know when someone might want to hire me. It’s best to be prepared. So I meowed to Mama about my idea. She rolled her eyes, but after I knocked some dishes over in the middle of the night, waking her up in a panic, she agreed to help me.
They don’t call me Chief Mischief Maker for nothing! I earned that title!
So without further ado, here is my totally awesome resume!
Max, the Cat-a-Prenuer
Address: Mama’s apartment. Phone #: N/A — paws too big for touch-screen!
Summary of Qualifications:
I am a cat.
Work Experience:
- I am an excellent napper, snoozing up to 18 hours a day.
- I am super playful with superb mischief-making abilities.
- I am creative — the first cat-a-prenuer. I even have an investor. Mama gave me $1 to start my business. I am confident that I will be able to pay her back within five years, maybe six years.
- I am super smart. I can open doors, even locked doors! Mama says that I cannot be hired to burgle on your behalf. If you need a cat burglar, Mama recommends Cat Woman. I do not know her, so I cannot personally vouch for her abilities. Mine, of course, are excellent, but sadly those skills are not for hire.
- I am a hearty eater. I eat both wet and dry food and always clean my plates and bowls. And I LOVE treats.
- I pee and poop like a champion. I am not 100% sure this is relevant, but Mama sure gets excited whenever I use the litter box. She’s kind of like a potty patrol.
- I have excellent personal hygiene. I spend at least half of my waking hours grooming my fur to ensure it is immaculate. A clean cat is a happy cat.
- I am ADORABLE. And handsome too. I would be perfect for your next cat movie or TV show. My demands are reasonable. A birdie name Yum Yum for me to eat … I mean to chase around my pimped out trailer.
- I am a cat.
Max is a Cat-for-Hire
Wow! I have some mad skills! If you have a job that is suited to my many talents, please consider hiring me. You won’t regret it! My rates are reasonable (tummy rubs, cats treats and toys) and I even have references. Okay, a reference — Mama will vouch for me. She says I am the bestest cat ever.
And I am.
Max
You take excellent pictures too! A cat commercial would be the perfect job for you and since you live so close to where movies are tv shows are filmed it may be quite easy for you to find an Agent that can hook you up with some cat commercials for cat food. Tell them that all you ask in return is a lifetime supply of Kibbies 🙂
Thank you! I do take excellent photos. I could be the new Garfield or Morris. They are Gingers like me. I don’t want to be Puss in Boots though. I don’t like wearing clothes. I shall meow to Mama about my desire to be a show biz kitty because I want a lifetime supply of kibble!
Do you look cute in those pictures or what! I agree what Sicorra. With a face like that you oughta be in pictures, baby!
Adorable and handsome is right on! Tell your mama hi for me! Have a great week Max!
I am awfully adorable -aren’t I? It’s clear that I should be a Hollywood kitty. Mama says that I’m not very good at obeying commands, which is just ridiculous. What kitty obeys? We give orders, not follow them. Mama is so silly.
P.S. Mama says hi back!
Lol, I love the Max Mondays! Thanks for the good laugh!
Meow! Max Mondays are my favorite day of the week too!
LOL at locked doors – if that’s for real, then Max-E is a genius! Though I’m glad to hear he is using that ability for good and not evil. 😉
I paw swear that I can open locked doors! Not the front door – that one is tricky. But Mama’s bedroom door – easy peasy! Mama gave up on trying to shut me out because my mischief making was waking her up. She just learned to accept. She is a good pet!
Max, you are one talented and adorably cute cat!! If I were you, I’d pursue cat modeling. 🙂
Thank you, Laurie! Gosh, I am pretty awesome. I am going to tell Mama to research a Hollywood gig in a need of an exceptional feline like me! I see all kinds of cats on TV. I could do that too!
OMG, I love this post! Max-E, you are too cute for words!! 🙂
Thank you! I am almost too adorable! Other kitties might get jealous of my sheer awesomeness. I would tone it down, but that is impossible for me to do!