Hi ya, everyone! Oh boy, are you in for a treat today. Yup, do I have a tale for you. Now you already know that I am the coolest cat. Dude, it’s a fact: I am cool. But did you also know that I have secret power? I am a superhero! (although MaxE refuses to wear a stupid costume or hide his awesome identity) Anyway, I have the power of POUNCE!
You may think all kitties can pounce. This is true. Kitties are by nature excellent pouncers. But I have special pouncing abilities. I can pounce and terminate flies! Don’t believe me? Ask Mama! I have done it twice for her.
In fact, when a fly is bothering Mama, does she get a fly swatter and kill it herself? No way! She calls for ….. wait for it …. The Max-E-Nator.
And I scamper over to terminate the pesky bug. Oh boy — do I hate flies. They buzz loudly and think they are cool because they can fly. Thank goodness, no job is too small or lame for …. wait for it … The Max-E-Nator!
I am super clever, so I lure them to the big patio doors where they innocently buzz around, trying to figure out how to escape The Max-E-Nator’s lair. When they least expect it, I POUNCE! Sometimes I have to pounce on them a few times before I trap them under my Mitts of Doom.
Mama was so impressed by my superhero pouncing abilities that she gave me extra treats for rescuing her from those evil Flies of Distraction. They should make a movie about me! I heard about this new movie with a gun-toting, talking raccoon. Raccoons. Sheesh. What’s next? A talking tree? Whatever. The Max-E-Nator is waaaaaaay cooler.
Heed my warning you dastardly flying bugs: Bother Mama at your own risk. The Max-E-Nator will smite you with his Mitt of Doom. And you know how cats like to play with their food. You have been forewarned. MEOW!