Hi ya, everyone! I’m back on Mondays where I belong. Mama asked me what I wanted to meow about today and I wasn’t sure at first. I could meow about what a cool cat I am or my desire for a birdie named Yum Yum, but everyone already knows those things. Right? Right.
I don’t want to be a boring cat and repeat myself constantly, although I heard you’re supposed to repeat things like seven times before people “get” it. Mama must not be normal. I meow every day about my desire for a pet birdie and she’s still not picking up what I’m putting down. I think she’s being willfully obstinate. But that gives me a great idea: I’ll talk about Mama.
Is Mama Living Up to MaxE Standards?
Now I am no pushover. No siree. When MaxE puts his paw down, he puts his PAW DOWN. So let’s take a look at how Mama’s doing and what she can do to improve her grades.
Letting MaxE Do Whatever He Pleases
Mama rates a B+. I am one well indulged feline, but I am still told “no” frequently. Too frequently. Every day I hear, “No, MaxE! Don’t rip open your bag of kibble!” or “No, MaxE! Don’t you nudge my phone off the desk!” or my personal favorite “No, MaxE! Don’t stick your paw in my iced tea!” It’s always fun to do that one after I use litter box. Mama really gets mad at me! LOL! I don’t understand why she gets so upset.
I totally understand why she gets upset.
Mama’s To-Do: Learn to say “yes” more often and stop being so fussy about everything.
Feeding MaxE On Time and Generously
I’ll give Mama an A- on this task. She almost always feeds me on time and gives me plenty (although I wouldn’t say no to more treats) but I don’t like one of the flavors of wet food she tries to feed me. She swears it’s not her fault and they changed the recipe. I’m not sure if I buy her excuse, but she has stopped feeding it to me.
Mama’s To-Do: Give me treats at every meal and she’ll earn an A+ on the next report card!
Playing with MaxE
Mama has plenty of room for improvement on this one. I give her a C+. Some days MaxE has to entertain himself. Mama is too busy to play with him. She has to work. Whatever. I can’t imagine anything being more important than chasing me around the apartment.
Mama’s To Do: Play with me. Often. And on demand.
Allowing MaxE to Nap Uninterrupted
I feel bad (not really) but Mama gets a C- on this one. She is notorious for waking me up to say hi or to tell me that I am cool. I know I am cool. You don’t need to wake me up to tell me the obvious, woman! I am respectful of you when you sleep (mostly), so please extend me the same courtesy.
Mama’s To-Do: If MaxE is napping, let him be. Unless you are handing out treats, then it is permissible to wake me up.
Snuggles with MaxE
Now this is an area where Mama excels. She is a superb snuggler. She always has time to snuggle with me and rub my belly. She especially loves it when she’s reading and I lay next to her. She puts her arm around me and lets me nap. Mama gets an A+++++.
Mama’s To-Do: Keep snuggling with me!
I Love My Mama!
Overall I give my Mama a solid B. She is the best Mama with just a couple areas that need a little work.
- To let MaxE do whatever he wants at all times.
- To play with MaxE at his command.
Sometimes Mama gets confused and forgets that I’m the boss. Silly Mama. It’s a good thing I’m here to set her straight.