It’s our annual MaxE Christmas Tall Tail. We hope you enjoy the story and Max wishes everyone a very Meowie Christmas.
Max pounced on his favorite plump brown stuffed mouse and proudly carried it over to his Mama. He dropped the mouse by her chair and let out a loud, “Meow!”.
To Max’s displeasure, his Mama ignored him and kept muttering under her breath while her fingers tapped a dreary tune on her laptop keyboard.
With a flick of his tail, Max turned around and stalked over to the dining room table. He could already see a few cans innocently sitting there, silently begging to be nudged off the table. That will surely get Mama’s attention, Max thought, then he remembered Christmas was just a few days away.
Max had his heart set on getting a Mega Bag of cat treats and a new set of stuffed mice. In fact, he was a teeny bit worried that Santa Kitty Klaus might have misconstrued some of his past behavior as being bad and already put him on the naughty list.
Max felt real awful (sort of) about all those times where he nudged things off the kitchen table, shredded Mama’s bench or woke her up in the middle night with his yowling. Honestly, if Mama wasn’t mad about those things, then certainly Santa Kitty Klaus couldn’t hold those actions against him either.
But still, Max decided to play it safe. He didn’t want a stocking full of clothes come Christmas morning. So he walked away from the kitchen table full of nudge-able items and returned to Mama. He rubbed against her legs and purred loudly, hoping for a few pets.
“Max! Stop bothering me! Mama is trying to work.”
Max slunk away and climbed into his cat tower. Mama normally loved petting him, but she had been acting awfully cranky lately now that he thought about it. He’d even heard her say “Bah Humbug!”
He was pretty sure that was human talk for “I’m crabby! Leave me alone!” This wasn’t like his Mama. Something was wrong. Max thought and thought (which was code for multiple naps) until he figured out what was wrong: Mama had lost her Christmas spirit!
Max immediately knew what he needed to do: He would help her find her Christmas cheer, which should ensure that he was put on the nice list. Pleased with himself, Max leapt out of the cat tower and scampered into the bedroom. He jumped into bed and began meowing as loud as he could.
“Meow! Meow! Meow! MEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOW!” Mama! Come Here!
“Max! Are you getting into mischief?” Mama called out.
“MEOW!” No. Yes. Maybe. Come Here!
He heard his Mama sigh and get up. As soon as she entered the bedroom, he promptly rolled over onto his back, showing off his pretty white tummy. He knew from past experience that Mama wouldn’t be able to resist crawling into bed with him for a quick snuggle.
“I’m too busy to snuggle, Max.”
Max responded with one of his most potent weapons as a loud purr filled the room. His Mama glanced over her shoulder and he saw her expression soften and her resolve weaken. He continuing purring while wearing his very best sad face.
No way could she resist the double punch of an adorable and purring cat.
She stopped. Sighed. And rolled her shoulders. Finally she turned around and climbed into bed with him. She wrapped her arm around him while Max’s soothing purr rumbled on. He’d perfectly calibrated his purr to relieve tension, and from his Mama’s sigh of pleasure, he knew he’d hit his mark.
This was a grand start, but he knew a snuggle wouldn’t fully restore Mama’s Christmas spirit. He thought about what else Mama liked. She liked food but MaxE didn’t know how to cook and Mama got mad when he jumped on the kitchen counters anyway. Not that he had every done that, of course. She also liked music and especially liked dancing with Max. He didn’t necessarily enjoy it because it made him a little dizzy, but he would do it for his Mama!
And for some stuffed mice too.
Max got up and ran to the edge of the bed and called to his Mama, “Meow!” Follow me, Mama!
He raced into the living room and sat underneath her Bose player. Mama followed him out and when she stood next to him, he got on his hind legs and patted the shelf that held her loud music player with his front paws.
“Does MaxE want to dance?” Mama asked, surprise evident in her tone.
“Meow!” No, not really, but I really want a new feather brush for Christmas.
A cat’s gotta do, what a cat’s gotta do, Max thought.
Mama rocked back and forth and clapped her hands. She fiddled with her iPod and blew past all the hip hop and pop tunes and selected her Christmas Playlist. Soon a bouncy beat blasted out and Max pawed at his ears. Mama’s hips started swaying and she picked up MaxE. He got on a good grip on her, but she didn’t complain about his claws digging into her. She started singing and sashaying around the apartment. She twirled and dipped Max and he was proud that he didn’t lose his lunch all over her.
It seemed like they danced for hours, although it probably just a minute or two, but it sure felt like an eternity to Max. Mama gave him a big smooch and gently placed him on the sturdy floor to his immense relief. He noticed with pride that she had a little more pep in her step, but she still had not fully recovered all of her Christmas cheer.
Max eyed the TV cabinet that held all of his toys. And clothes.
It was time to pull out the big guns.
He walked over to the cabinet and began pawing at the door, careful to keep his claws from scratching the door.
Mega bag of cat treats. Feather brush. Stuffed mice. Bouncy balls. Max kept mentally repeating his Christmas wish list.
“Max? What are you doing?”
Max pawed the cabinet door again. “Meow!” I wanna (not really) wear clothes.
Mama opened the cabinet door and took out his basket of toys and clothes. Max regretfully ignored his toys and searched for some Christmas clothes. He had to restrain himself from ripping them to shreds, but instead nudged a shiny big red bow towards his Mama.
“Max! You wanna wear your holiday clothes? You want to be a present?”
“Meow!” Heck no! The things I do for you, Mama!
Or a mega bag of cat treats, feather brush, stuffed bag of mice and bouncy balls.
Mama happily sat down and patted the floor next to her. After a moment’s hesitation (and a strong desire to hide underneath the bed) Max sat down next to her. After a little fussing (he didn’t want to make it too easy), Mama tied a silly, big red bow around his neck.
He felt stupid. And was pretty sure he looked stupid too.
“MaxE! You look so handsome! Who is the most handsome kitty? Mighty Max!”
“Meow!” Please don’t take a picture of me.
“Where is my camera? Mama needs to post a picture on Twitter!”
Oh man. On Twitter? Where birdies live? Max would never live down this humiliation for sure. But Mama’s smile was big and bright. And her Christmas Cheer Meter was fully powered so Max suffered through a holiday photo shoot with just a few minor complaints.
Afterwards, Mama gave him a few extra treats as a present, which he gobbled up as fast as he could. After all, being good took a lot of energy! Mama was watching TV so he snuggled up next to her. Some reindeer had a red blinking nose and he sure hoped that this show didn’t give Mama any ideas because his nose was already perfect as is.
Max soon fell asleep, with his Mama’s tucked around him, rubbing his belly. Visions of mega bags of cat treats, feather brushes, stuffed mice and bouncy balls filled his dreams as he was once again confident that Santa Kitty Klaus would be paying him a vist this Christmas. And sure enough, way up in the North Pole, Santa Kitty Klaus added Max to the Nice List.
This has been an original MaxE Tall Tail written by Tanya and approved by Max.
Copyright © 2014 by Eat Laugh Purr. All rights reserved.