Max Mondays: It’s Good To be Me

Hi ya, everyone! Mighty Max is in da house! Or apartment. It feels like forever since I meowed to everyone. Has it felt like forever to you? Mama says I don’t have the best perception of time. I say Mama tries to be sneaky about time. Like, no I wasn’t gone for days. It was just minutes. I know it was DAYS! You can’t play a player!

Once again, the coolest cat (that’s me!) didn’t get invited to go to Minnesota. I find this to be rude. I graciously welcomed Mama’s parents into my home. Why won’t they extend the same courtesy to me? Mama says it is because I am too mischievous and don’t travel well in my carrier. She makes it sound like it is my fault, which is unfair.

Fact #1: I am not too mischievous. I make the perfect amount of mischief. It’s not my fault that prima donna Emeril was boring and well-behaved. He was also constipated, you know.

Fact #2: I would sit real sweetly the whole flight (just like I am below) if Mama bought me my own first class ticket. Paw swear.

As grumpy as being left behind made me, it still wasn’t awful. Mama felt real guilty that I couldn’t come along and she missed me terribly (duh), so she spoiled me rotten when she got home, just as she should have.

That Super Mega bag of cat treats she gave me — earned it.

The thousands and thousands of smooches she bestowed upon me — earned it.

The full body kitty massage — earned it.

The non-stop pets and snuggles I demanded — earned it.

Mama is lucky that I am a very forgiving feline, especially after I found out that she flirted with other kitties while she was on vacation! Rude! It took some effort on her part, but she finally earned her way out of the cat house. She is now on probation and bribing me with extra treats every night. In the end — it’s good to be MaxE, one well-indulged kitty!

Max