I hate Halloween. I absolutely loathe it. It is the worst holiday, ever. Why? Because Mama insists on celebrating it. But does she dress up in some stupid and uncomfortable costume and have to endure a photo shoot? No, she does not! Guess who has to suffer through the humiliation of wearing clothes? MaxE does! It’s not right. It’s not fair. It’s mean. Halloween sucks. I betcha doggies invented it out of jealousy, just to torture sweet kitties like me, since we are obviously superior to them. Meow!
What I dislike about Halloween, even more than the stupid costumes Mama thinks are so adorable, is that I get nothing in return. NOTHING!
At Christmas, I have to wear that stupid Santa Claus hat but I get presents. Lots and lots of presents from Santa Kitty Claus because I am such an exceptionally well-behaved cat. But did Mighty Max, a cousin to fierce lions who would never be forced to wear silly costumes, get any presents for wearing the stupid witch’s hat? No, sir, he did not.
As you can tell, I made Mama work for her pictures because I didn’t like my costume, AT ALL. It was ugly and made me look stupid. Cats are naturally handsome (or pretty) and we don’t need clothes to enhance our good looks.
We just don’t.
I wish Mama understood this but clearly she doesn’t. Look at me. Is this the face of a happy cat?
It’s not. I was very UNhappy. And do you know what an unhappy Max Man does?
He causes mischief. It’s tricks from here on out.
You’ve been warned, Mama.