Hi ya, everyone! It’s me, MaxE! You are in for a treat today because I’m taking over the blog. That’s right — today is Max Monday, which makes it the very best Monday of the month! Yay! I’ve got lots to meow about (since Mama only lets me blog once a month) and lots of gossip to share. Yup, MaxE is in full-on gossip mode about his favorite topic: Mama. Interested? I thought you would be.
Mama is Silly. Period.
Listen, I love my Mama. She is indulges me. She pets me. She feeds me and gives me bedtime treats. She cleans my litter box. She is a very good Mama.
She is also weird.
I mean really weird.
Not convinced? Well, that’s kind of rude and my feelings are a little hurt, but I can prove that I am right.
5 Goofy Things Mama Says to Me Every Day
Here are just a few examples of my Mama’s extreme goofiness.
MaxE — You Thinking Mischief?
She asks me this question a million times a day. The answer never changes: YES!
MaxE, You’re the Best Snuggle Bunny
Not a bunny. I am a feline. Not only does Mama need to go back to kindergarten and relearn her animals, I’m deeply afraid that she will make me wear bunny ears for Easter. I’m calling an audible SOS, people. HELP! Just say NO to bunny ears!
Mighty Max, Did You …
Knock the picture of Emeril off my desk? Shred my chair? Roll this potato into the bathroom? Puke on my pants? My shoes?
Nope. It wasn’t me. It was some other kitty.
Why Are You So Hairy?
I’m not. I have the perfect amount of fur because God make cats to be the most perfect creature in the world. Thus, I am perfect. And I don’t need Mama to comb me. I can groom myself, thank you very much.
Who Does Mama Love?
MaxE. She loves me. And only me. Not some constipated cat. Mama loves Max. PERIOD.
Mama is Goofy, Just like Me
See, I told you Mama is pure silliness. Just like I am because I totally did puke on her sandals. Don’t tell her, though, she might chase after me with the comb!
P.S. Mama asked me to tell you that we are taking this Thursday and next Monday off from blogging to celebrate Easter. This better mean I’m gonna get lots of attention and belly rubs and not be code for Mama is too busy to play with MaxE!