Hi ya, everyone! It’s me, the birthday boy! That’s right, MaxE turned 5 or 6 on September 9. Mama isn’t 100% sure how old I am. The Humane Society said I was 2 when she adopted me four years ago. Mama said I acted more like a baby and grew quite a bit my first year with her, so she thinks maybe I was younger. I don’t care about my age; it’s just a number! I don’t go boo-hooing about it the way my Mama does. Of course, I’m not 41 years old either. She is soooooooo old! Me? I’m still a youngster with lots of pep in my step!
Anyway, because it was my birthday, Mama said that I could blog today, instead of waiting until the third Monday of the month. Because she is cool and I am cool, I also decided to have Mama blog with me today!
Welcome to my post, Mama!
[Tanya] Thanks, Max. And Happy Birthday.
Thanks, Mama! I particularly loved my presents. They were great. I really liked playing with you and making you chase me around the apartment. The full body kitty massage felt amazing and was so relaxing after a stressful day of being the coolest cat in the world. And I really appreciated the treats at every meal too. Can I have some more presents?
[T] I’m glad you like your presents, Max. And no. You can’t have anymore presents.
Why not? I’m a best boy. Adorable. Handsome. Smart. Super fun. Not constipated. I deserve more presents!
[T] You are all of those things. But do you know what else you would be if I gave you a present EVERY DAY?
Not true. I am very unspoiled.
[T] Are you sure?
Yes. Very, very, very sure. Mama, I hate to tell you this, but you are a real handful. You’re always whining about something, like “why do you have so much hair?” or “why are you so mischievous?” or “why won’t you snuggle with me?” Honestly Mama, not every kitty would be as tolerate of your behavior as I am.
[T] Really? You think you’re the martyr in our relationship?
I don’t know what martyr is. But if it means a handsome, adorable cat who deserves more presents, then yes — I am a martyr!
[T] That’s not what martyr means.
Are you sure? Sometimes you get confused. Like when you confuse playing with mischief-making.
[T] I don’t confuse the two. You are always getting into mischief.
True dat. I earned my title of Chief Mischief Maker. And you like my mischief-making ways. Admit it, Mama. You do.
[T] Do not.
[T] Do not.
Do to. Do to. Seriously, Mama. You love it and you know it. You wouldn’t want me to be a boring cat, would you?
[T] Well ….
[T] Okay, a dull MaxE wouldn’t really be MaxE.
That’s right. I gotta be me. A mischief-making feline who deserves more presents!
[T] Well, what about me? What did you get ME for MY birthday?
Excuuuuuuuse me? Isn’t this post about me and celebrating MY birthday? Your birthday was eons ago, you forgetful, old lady.
[T] What did you call me?
Ummmm …. Mama! I love you! You are the best Mama in the world. And the youngest-looking old lady that …. crap.
[T] Maximillan Emeril. You take that back!
Mama, let’s not fight. Let’s snuggle instead.
[T] Well … I don’t want people to think I’m a pushover.
Oh, Mama. Nobody thinks that. Wink. Wink.
[T] Fine. We can snuggle. But no more presents until Christmas.
Sure, sure. No problem. MaxE can wait until Santa Kitty Klaus fills his stocking with goodies. In the meantime, I’ll just slip your credit card into my bed for safe-keeping. And what’s the password to your Amazon account again?
Kidding. Not. Why don’t we snuggle now and you can forget all about this conversation. Okay? Thanks for joining me today, Mama.
[T] You’re welcome, Max.
That Mama, folks. I swear she is a real paw-full. Thanks goodness my mitts are big enough to handle her! Anyway, I had a great birthday where the world revolved around me. Granted, the world revolves around me every day, but on my birthday, the sun is brighter, the birds sing louder and the Max Man can do no wrong.
Well, I gotta run. Mama is yelling at me about snuggle time and she is a real drama queen when she doesn’t get her way. Thank goodness I am such an accommodating feline. Don’t you think that is worth another present? I sure do!