Hey ya, everyone! It’s me, Mighty Max. The coolest cat on the Internet. This is true because that’s what it says on my Internet handle: Max — The Coolest Cat. And I am told that you cannot lie on the Internet. It’s like some rule or something. Thus, I am the coolest cat! Yay Max!
We just celebrated Easter and I am very pleased to report that I did not have to wear bunny ears because some smart kitty ate the elastic band. It wasn’t me. Nope! I am a good kitty. It was Mo. That’s right. Mo ate the elastic band. He may have only been with Mama for a short time but he did a lot of good in that time.
Mama had forgotten this so she searched high and low for those bunny ears. She accused me of eating them, which I most certainly did not do. She eventually remembered that Mo ate them, which made her sad. So I had to be mischievous to make her smile again.
Well, she yelled first because apparently knocking her camera off the desk is a no-no.
Then she smiled.
Mama is weird one, I tell you. She also had a bout of stomach flu last month. She has recovered now but that’s why it has been so quiet here. I played Nurse Max and took care of her because I’m a Best Boy. She whined a lot.
A lot. A lot. A lot.
She wanted 7-Up but wouldn’t give me outside privileges to buy her some. I would have done it too. Marched right over to the store and meowed for some 7-Up. But no. She said I was too easily distracted and that kitties weren’t allowed in stores.
She spent an awful lot of time in bathroom, which she does not want me to meow about. This is unfair. Because she babbles about my bathroom business all the time, bragging about how good of a pooper I am. It is true. But I don’t know why she tells everyone.
Okay, I do. Mr. I Can’t Poop made Mama ultra-sensitive to my personal private bathroom business and she worries about me being constipated, which I am not. It doesn’t seem fair that I can’t babble about her bathroom bus—
My Mama says I need to apologize to her for sharing private bathroom business. This seems grossly unfair because Mama talks about mine all the time. But Mama says if I want treats tonight that I must apologize.
I am sorry.
Not really. But Max has to do what Max has to do in order to get treats tonight.
Anyway, I played Nurse Max. I snuggled with her, napped next to her and listened to her whine. And complain. And groan. She groaned a lot. She’s lucky to have me. A lesser cat might have gone on strike.
Not a hunger strike. We cats don’t roll that way.
Anyway, that is what’s new with me. What’s new with you?